Wild Nights
WARNING: The language is direct and explicit and may offend.
From "Wild Nights", by David Deida....
Relationship is bondage, unless your love is larger than the cult.
Love is a wound. Love hurts. You must learn to live wide open; hurting open with love.
If you are bound to objects - even people you truly love - then you suffer, because they can’t deliver what you want from them.
These boys, they’re going to fantasize about sex with young women for the rest of their lives. And by the time the ladies are saggy and wrinkled, and the men are too old to care, it’ll be too late. They won’t have the energy to open beyond their shriveled concerns for a better life. A day without too much pain will be good enough. And when they start dying, they’ll be horrified.
No-one is willing to feel the bliss of the Great One, because they are wrapped up in sex, or wishing they were.
I was using the affection and flesh that now surrounded me to pad myself from the stark free-fall of utter surrender, from the nothingness of deep, open being.
The feeling of tragedy dissipated, leaving only a deep love, wounded to be sure, but also eternal.
One day Michelle, your breasts will hang like soggy pancakes and your ass will sag to your knees. You’ll wake up in the morning, put your dentures in and paint your rotting face, and wonder which of your friends died today.
She’s not your mother. As good as her love feels, as war as her love fills your heart, you are clinging to the breast and missing the moment’s depth. You are afaid to feel totally alone – that is, so open there is no other. NO OTHER.
You need an other so you can be assured of yourself. And the one you want, the one that gives you the most assurance, is your mother. You want to feel her warmth, her smell, her support, her devotion to you – you won’t let go of that.
On the surface, it looked like he and his teacher were at war. But the war was always already over, and love had won, even if the fight continued to appear on the surface.
“You have been given a burden of bliss”, Mykonos said quietly, but with absolute intention. “You know what you have to do”. “This burden is my gift to you”.
It’s time to sit down and have dinner with the monster. (this one from David Holloway)
1 Comments:
I like your raw honesty, David. I see so many of the "monsters" as aspects of ourselves. When we are in our center and "at home" within ourselves these aspects can't just come in and take over our lives and continue to stop us from creating the life and relationships we know deep down we are capable of. Its all about integration of all that we ever have pretended was stronger and bigger than us and I agree it comes with not running from it or repressing it. When we begin to remember who we are, it is truly a re-membering of all that we have ever been in all our past lives and all the different aspects of us we have even in this life. Integration is the final phase; when it all begins to make sense--not to the mind of course but to the intuition that knows we have been not just one but many. I have found that all things that we have ever repressed or refused to feel at any point in time just waits for us in some other realm, time or space but eventually has to be dealt with. This is where I am in my life now and I have found it is all about loving and accepting me completely. When I love me—and am present with me....I become FULFILLED and when that happens relationships take on a purity beyond words....because I are not always working to get needs met.
Anyway, I love your honesty, David. If your interested, I created a website that is my gift to anyone who wants to understand the depth of enlightenment gained by self love. Indeed it is the path of completion of self and the only path for fulfillment of our need. Because we have been led to believe other humans meet our needs but that is all part of the game of being human. When the game starts getting old and one seeks meaning beyond, they will eventually realize that all fulfillment is already there’s. But it takes a lot of persistence in love for self and releasing our attachments to reach this place but every step is a great and deeply fulfilling gain. Please check it out if you feel drawn to.
http://churchofselflove.com/
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