MM #97: Accountability for Personal Power

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2. FEATURE: Accountability for Personal Power

Sometimes when you are coaching or delivering a service, the client doesn't hold up their end of the agreement. For example, perhaps they didn't do their "homework", following through on a commitment, or even call on time. Wouldn't it be great to hold them accountable?

And if you haven't already guessed it, it's best to start with ourselves. Where are we not holding ourselves accountable for what we say we'll do?

Often in our society, these commitments are glossed over. Don't worry about being late, missing all your deadlines or not doing what you said you would. People don't usually hold you accountable, and we let them 'slide' on things too. It's an unspoken deal.

However, not doing what I say I will do, creates a loss of power. I'll trust myself a little less, and people will trust me a little less. My word has less power the more I say something and not follow through. Can you see this in your life? As coaches, as people committed to being extraordinary, we have a chance to create something different - something unusual.

The coaching relationship can be a new way of relating for some people: being accountable for what we say and do. Wouldn't it be fantastic if everyone took on this new relationship model? Let's be a model for accountability.

Have you ever intended to do something, but it didn't happen? "I really wanted to write my vision BUT I didn't have time." Intention is great but a true commitment to what you say is something different.

Coaching Questions

Here are some questions to ask a client who is not following through on their actions (and of course you can apply these to yourself). Let's find the source of the resistance:

1. What is in the way? What is preventing you from doing this task?

Answer honestly. This may be a major block for you to work around. This also may be a signal to tell you that what you set for yourself is not really what you want to accomplish.

2. What are the benefits of completing the action?

Get in touch with how good it will feel to get the results.

3. What is the cost of not doing the action?

Really getting present to how life will be if the action is not done can be a big motivator.

4. Is this a commitment for you, or just a good idea?

Are you telling yourself, "I'll do it." or are you saying, "It is a good idea and if it's convenient, I'll do it." Let the client know they have options. They don't have to just agree or disagree. They can also counter offer and negotiate.

5. Would you like to drop this action or commitment?

Once I told a client who continually failed to write her newsletter: "Drop it. I'm sick of you saying the same thing every week. Let's drop this as a goal". And she replied: "That feels terrible. No way - I really want to do it". And the next week it was done. Threatening to take the goal away was very powerful, and fun!

Practices

Here are some practice strategies I suggest for myself. You might like to take one of these on for yourself this week, and have any of your clients practice it as well.

1. Honor your word.

Honoring your word means that you do everything you say you are going to do. So you will need to choose what you say carefully. When someone says "Call me tonight", if I'm not committed to it I say "I may do that, and if I don't feel free to call me". If someone says "Give Bill my love when you see him" I say: "I will if I think of it". If someone says are you coming to my party tomorrow night I might say: "I'm not sure how my energy will be tomorrow, and if I feel good I'll come".

Also you may wish to practice saying "no".

If you've said something and you don't want to follow through anymore or you can't, always communicate as soon as practical to renegotiate and empower the other person.

2. Under-promise and over-deliver.

Under-promise and over-deliver means...well, let's give an example: instead of agreeing to finish a project by Thursday, tell them Monday and have it done by Friday!

Not only will you build your self-esteem but you will also build the appreciation and respect of others. They will know what to expect from you and will want to communicate with you more often. People will know they can count on you.

3. Create a structure

If I'm committed to doing something, I'll often put a structure in place to get it done. You can use this for yourself, and of course encourage your clients to tell you the structure they will create to ensure something gets done. Their structure might include lots of notes posted everywhere, getting their secretary or spouse to give them reminders, or adding it to their scheduling book.

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Action

What we learn is just insight without the application of practice. To really learn it, we must practice.

1. Say "no" three times this week!

2. Under-promise and over-deliver three times next week.

3. Pick a goal you want to move forward on, and put in place a structure to support you moving forward. (e.g. reminders, motivational picture, asking a buddy to call you, working with a coach).

4. What ONE THING did you get from this article the blog that will be most useful to you going forward? Post at the blog.

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This was taking from the 'Top Coaching Techniques' self-study program. If you want more ideas to improve your coaching visit: Top Coaching Techniques.

Enjoy!